Caring and Compassion

There is quite a lot that goes on in my life that I do not write about in this blog. I've never set out for this to be some kind of "tell all" diary. I just write what I feel like sharing.

I have some rules such as I do not discuss my personal relationships in any great detail and I do not speak badly of anyone. I keep certain facts purposefully vague and only reveal what feels comfortable to me.

Something very unfortunate is happening in the life of someone close to me. It causes me a great deal of worry and distress to think that this person is in pain and discomfort. I am scared for them and what they are going through. My thoughts have been with them quite a lot this past week.

I do not wish to go into detail about who this person is or what they are going through. It's a painful time for them and for me. I just want that person to know that I do care.

My heart is an open heart. It has more room then could ever possibly be filled. Even when it is broken; even when it is cold; even when it feels unloved, disrespected or unwanted; it does not close.

May all beings be happy. May all beings be at ease. May all beings be at peace.

A Word About Compassion of the Day:

Have compassion for others but also for yourself.

Growing Art

I made art last night and it felt good. Actually, what I really did was put parts together. Some older sculpture mixed with some newer objects (well, new to me but it was actually old, scavenged stuff) and the next thing I new: ART.

I love it when that happens, I finally figure out how to combine what I have on hand to make something new and exciting and different. Now I have two more "plants" for my garden.

My World keeps growing around me. It's so weird and strange looking, though. But the more sculptures I create the more engaging my World feels.

This is why I know that even though I have yet to have a specific purpose (i.e. a funded purpose) to make these sculptures I Must Keep Doing It. The purpose will come. I will keep looking for it and it will keep looking for me. And eventually we'll find each other. And when we do I'll be ready. My garden will be in full bloom, for all the world to see!

Other Gardens of the Day:

Sunday, a day that was amazingly sunny and beautiful, I planted my summer garden: tomatoes, green beans, chard, arugula, cucumbers and basil. In a couple of weeks I'll add some peppers to the mix. Oh Boy! I can't wait to start harvesting!

Afterflakes

In the thick of a teeming snowfall
I saw my shadow on snow.
I turned and looked back up at the sky,
Where we still look to ask the why
Of everything below.

If I shed such a darkness,
If the reason was in me,
That shadow of mine should show in form
Against the shapeless shadow of storm,
How swarthy I must be.

I turned and looked back upward.
The whole sky was blue;
And the thick flakes floating at a pause
Were but frost knots on an airy gauze,
With the sun shining through.

--Robert Frost

Another Great One of the Day:

The Road Not Taken

But you knew that already.

21st Century Luddite

I'm not a Luddite in the sense that I am not against "looming" (Ha! That's a pun. And if you don't get it, look up the definition of Luddite.) technological advances. But I do not get swept up in the newest gadgets. Nor do I care to keep up with the latest computer apps. I'm just not that interested.

My iPod is a second generation 4GB Mini. They don't even make that anymore. I pretty much have to charge the battery every day, even when I don't use it. But the functionality is still there: it stores and plays music and podcasts. So, why replace it?

I also have yet to venture into the land of Smart Phones. People do so many things with their phones that just don't occur to me. I write To Do lists on paper. I have an old-school Day-Timer. (Does anyone even know what that is?) If I want to email, browse the Internet, receive an IM, I need to use my desktop computer at home. No, I don't have a laptop, either.

How Positively 20th Century!

Then there is the matter of my calculator and alarm clock. Both are over 20 years old. There is actually a certain level of pride that I feel that these objects still work and I still use them regularly.

My calculator is a TI-35 PLUS. I remember getting it when I took geometry in the 10th grade. It's still works like a charm. Although, some of the lettering on key function buttons has warn off. I've had to paint the plus, minus, multiply and divide symbols back on multiple times. I have never once changed the battery. How crazy cool is that?

The radio alarm clock that continues to wake me up in the morning is a real relic. I have no idea how old it is but it's been my bedside clock since I was at least 8 or 9 years old. It's a Sanyo RM5500 Computer Readout Clock Radio and it may have even been a hand-me-down. It functions like it's brand new. I'll probably die before this thing does.

Technology just doesn't last this long any more. Things are made to be disposable. Either because they wear out and brake. Or, more commonly, companies just keep pushing out the newest version or latest upgrade causing us to long for the new and trash the old. I'm looking at you Steve Jobs and Apple!

Who's got the time and money to keep up like this? I think I'll just sit back and add up (on my TI3500) the money I've saved by not getting a new iPod and count the hours (on my Sanyo RM5500) that I don't lose waiting in line at the Apple store the day the iPhone 4 comes out.

Maybe I am a Luddite but don't worry I'm not going to smash your Droid. You can still update your Facebook status while you wait in line to see Avatar for the third time. I'll probably be on the couch watching reruns of News Radio on my non-HD TV.

YouTube Video of the Day:

A little long but definitely funny.

A Healthy Time Out

Some things happened at my job this past week that caused me to become anxious and stressed. Not good.

I mean, I don't mind challenges and multi-tasking. Sometimes it's really fun trying to keep all of the plates spinning while simultaneously chewing gum and jogging backwards. But, in this case, I was being pushed and pulled in a way that made me very uncomfortable.

I quickly remedied the problem by respectfully removing myself from the middle of a situation that did not have anything to do with me. And by taking a Time Out. In order to "reset" myself I spent most of yesterday working in my studio instead of the warehouse office. The building could get by without me for one afternoon. (Anyone who thinks otherwise about their job is an egotistical work-a-holic!)

Honestly, it was the best decision I made all week. Being back in my Special World without having to answer the phone or respond to a tenant issue or hunt down late rent payments was such a blessed relief. I was able to quiet my mind and calm my senses. Boy am I lucky to work for someone who recognizes the value in me doing this.

I am no good to anyone if I let my job get the better of me. No burnout potential here! I am a much better employee when I am at work feeling Bright and Shiny and Happy. Dark and Dull and Frustrated Kitty doesn't add much to the equation.

Taking a Time Out is good for anyone. There is no shame in needing to "reset" yourself. So, next time your job or your family or your friends or your life make you feel a little off, go spend some time in your own Special World, whatever and wherever that may be. I promise you nothing but good will come of it.

Mini-Time Out Suggestion of the Day:

Listen to your very favorite song. Sing along at the top of your lungs. Do a little dance. Four and a half minutes of guaranteed bliss!

Life Is Good

I haven't been working on my art much even though I cut back my hours at my job. It's still tough finding the energy and focus. It's really busy at the warehouse these days. Work wipes me out!

But I'm okay with it because I know things will ease up in a couple of months. And I have been spending time doing administrative stuff related to my art. It's not work in my studio but it is just as important.

Sometimes I wish all my days were like when I go to Marble where the only things I focus on are: carving, hiking, eating and sleeping. Ahhhhhhh! Life in the mountains is good.

But I've got a very full life here and I can't complain. Work is good (crazy and insane, but good); Family is good; Friends are good; Health is good. Life is Good!

Self-Promotion of the Day:

Garden REtreat Project Proposal

Your Job Is Not Your Life

Have I posted this before?

I took a photo of this image, painted on a Brooklyn sidewalk, in November 2008. And I look at it daily.

Well, off to work!

Rainy Day Read of the Day:

Spin Magazine's 25th Anniversary Issue. The 100 Moments That Rocked Our World.

Love music? Read this. Cover to cover. Seriously.

Floral Family

The latest addition to my garden. "Floral Family", 2010.

Delicious Harbinger of Summer of the Day:

Tomatoes on toast for breakfast!

Okay, actually, it's better then that. Last night I cooked a tomato tart with some of the first heirlooms of the season to appear at my local farmer's market. Amazing! And then, this morning, I had sliced tomato on a peppercorn bagel. Oh. My. God. Heaven. Summer is getting closer......

I Dig You!

Have A Good Time All The Time

You know what's Fun? Having Fun.

It's so easy to get bogged down doing stuff that's not fun. Or at least what we perceive as not fun.

Commuting to work can seem like not much fun when you are stuck in traffic and then some jerk cuts you off or this other guy won't let you change lanes even though your exit is coming up. But what if all of that is happening while you are singing at the top of your lungs to your very favorite song that's playing on the radio? And the sun is shining just right on the Bay as you cross the bridge, it's so beautiful you think your eyes are deceiving you. That's fun, right?

It's all a matter of perspective, I think. I'm not saying EVERYTHING is fun all of the time. But it could be, if we put our minds to it. At the very least, we don't need to be miserable.

So, the next time someone asks you the age old question: Are we having fun yet? I sure hope your answer is, Yes! Because if it's not then what are you having? And why are you having it?

Fun Promotional Video for National High Five Day of the Day:



I missed that yesterday was National High Five Day. But, really, why celebrate the High Five just one day of the year? Right? Gimme' Five!

Garden REtreat

I've had this idea for a while about making a recycled materials garden that is grown in an abandoned lot. When I first drafted the project proposal, I was planning to not only make the garden but also the space within which it was displayed. I've been shopping this idea around to various festivals and events.

But the more I think about it, the more I realize I am going about this all wrong. Instead of creating the idea of a garden grown on vacant land, I need to find actual vacant land and install the garden in that space. This isn't about a temporary, portable sculpture installation. This is about transforming unused, perhaps even unwanted, land into something useful and meaningful, giving new life to what was previously neglected and abandoned.

So, I have decided to take on the challenge of finding a city space that can temporarily or permanently be a home to what I call Garden REtreat. Never mind the fact that I know nothing about civic art or public art installations. Or the bureaucracies that I need to wade through in order to make this even happen. Hell, I don't even know how you find out who owns vacant land in a city.

But, I do know how to make art out of recycled materials. So, that's where I am going to start. Or continue, I should say. I've been making sculptures for this garden since the fall and I will continue to do so while I also go about the business of trying to find it a home.

I sure could use some help, though. Seeing as I pretty much have no idea what I'm doing. Let me know if you want to get in on the fun! Together, we could change the world (or at least that ugly, abandoned lot that you walk past every day on your way to work!)

Yes, I Thought About That of the Day:

I have no intention of doing this garden as some guerrilla art piece.

I'm not into trespassing at night, setting up a secret garden in some random lot, and seeing how long it stays up before the authorities tear it down. No. I want to go through the proper channels. Do it right. I want people to want this, not fear it.

Civic Minded

The most challenging thing about being an artist is dealing with all of the stuff that needs to happen outside of the studio. I think it's safe to say that most artists would be happy just making art, never having to worry about fund raising, marketing, sales, exhibitions. All of the stuff that is so complicated and not very creative.

But then, why make art if no one sees it? "The true artist helps the world by revealing mystic truths." Or so said Bruce Nauman.

Window or Wall Sign, 1967

I've been really grappling with this idea lately. I've got something I want to show the world. Something I want to say. And, so far, I've been having trouble finding anyone who believes in me enough to help me do that. But maybe my avenues are wrong. Maybe I'm not looking in the right places.

How do I make my visions a reality? How do I put my art out in public in a way that is relevant and meaningful? All I know how to do is make art. The rest of the stuff? I just fake it. But this is getting too difficult for me to keep faking. If I want to make a real difference, that is.

Tomorrow I will reveal my idea. Make these vague ramblings a little less confusing.

Question of the Day:

How do I go about finding out who owns vacant land?

Wheeeeee!

I don't know what to think about the events that are transpiring in and around my life. And yet, that doesn't bother me.

My job is strange but interesting. Frustrating but fun.

My art efforts are failing (I got another crushing rejection today) but I'm not discouraged. I'm just gonna keep on keepin' on.

I feel like I'm on a ride and no matter wherever it takes me that is the bestest, most coolest place I could possibly be. Really!

What a weird world I live in. And I wouldn't change a thing.

Quote I Made Up This Morning of the Day:

The eye of the storm really is as calm as they say it is.

Listen Up

It seems to me that one of the most common needs in human beings is to be heard. It is important that we express our thoughts, feelings, ideas, emotions and that others, in turn, respond and understand. It is important that we matter. Being heard means that we matter.

I think this is the core reason that public forums on the Internet (be it blogs, message boards, social networks, Twitter, et al.) exist. So that we have a place to speak our minds and be heard. The more people comment about or "like" or repost our words the more validated we feel. Because that means that someone listened and responded to what we said, did or felt. If we keep our words to ourselves then how is anyone going to know how cool, honest, happy, smart, interesting or angry we are? How is anyone going to know Who We Are?

This blog is like my diary. Only, because I have chosen for this to exist in the public domain, it is a very carefully crafted and thoughtful version of a diary. In other words, this is edited for content. I'm never not honest but there are things that I don't write about or express. It is definitely not a "tell-all". More like a "tell-a-bit". Tell what I think will show how cool, honest, happy, smart, interesting or angry I am.

I used to write in a "real" diary when I was younger. The kind you lock away and keep only for yourself. That kind of diary has the complete truth, all the ugly, unflattering bits. It is not the "you" for general consumption. We don't usually want people to know about that person.

I'm not always sure what my motivations are for keeping this blog. I think I might have about a half dozen regular readers. It's not like what I write about is very relevant to the world at large. Mostly it's a "I did this, I think this, I like/dislike this" kind of journal. Of which, there are probably a million others just like it out there in the world. Interesting? To me, yes. To others, debatable.

So, why don't I keep this private? Write it for myself just like I used to with my old diaries? Because, like most people, I Want To Be Heard. Even if the only person that hears Me, sometimes, is Me.

Step One in the Down-scaling My Exposure to Technology Plan of the Day:

No more then forty-five minutes of (non-work related) Internet a day.

This includes blog posting, reading and writing email, and visiting favorite websites. Considering that writing this blog takes, on average, a half an hour, I should be able to cut back considerably on other areas that are inherently a time suck. I might not be able to read Laughing Squid every day. We'll see how that goes.

Fortune/Misfortune

For years I've never had a proper workshop in which to make my art. I've always made due with minimal equipment never having been able to really invest in proper shop tools besides your basic grinders and drill/drivers. I received a very nice miter saw one year as a gift from my mom. That was the best piece of equipment I had until last year when I bought a MIG welder which was my very first major equipment purchase ever.

Now that I have a good workspace at American Steel I want to have good work tools as well. As it would happen, one of my fellow warehouse tenants, a small metal fabrication business, has decided to close up shop. And they are liquidating most of their equipment. I felt like a vulture going over to their space the other day discussing what tools they were selling while simultaneously talking about how much I was going to miss them as neighbors. But they've got some great stuff that I truly need.

I'm pretty excited that I am soon to be in possession of a 14" metal chop saw, a heavy duty drill press and a good quality TIG welder. All for a very reasonable price. I'm saving a ton of money and I couldn't be happier. The people selling the equipment to me are happy also because, in addition to helping them pay off debt, they know the equipment is going to someone who really needs it. They don't feel like I'm taking advantage of their misfortune at all. Everything is being kept in the "family", as it were.

So, yay! One step closer to having a workshop that will make it easier for me to make cool art. And I didn't have to go out and buy anything new! Sometimes it really is about being in the right place at the right time. Even when it's the wrong place for someone else.

It's Funny 'Cause It's True of the Day:

San Francisco Conceit Realized On Mission Wall.

It Ain't Easy (Being Cheesy)

For some reason, like not being able to look away at an accident on the side of the road, I cannot help myself but read the daily comics. Every single one. Even the crappy, boring, outdated and annoying ones. (I won't name names because it's a matter of personal opinion as to which ones suck). The fact is, only a handful of comic strips out there are actually good. And yet, I can't help myself but read them all.

One of the less insipid ones, though not nearly as funny as Get Fuzzy (okay, I'm naming names), is Baby Blues. Normally, I have no reaction to this comic strip because it's about the challenges of raising three young children and, being childless, I can't really relate to it. But I liked today's.

It shows the little baby attempting to stand up and walk. In the final panel she's seen on her back, legs flailing. Her older brother is standing over her telling her to remember that "most things are hard before they are easy."

Yes.

Good thing to remember for anyone, no matter what they are trying to do. Is anything ever easy the first time it's attempted? I can't remember that ever happening to me. But challenges are what make life interesting, I think. It sucks when something is hard at first but eventually we get the hang of it. If we keep trying, that is.

Actually, I imagine most of the time we don't even realize or notice the transition from hard to easy. It flows quite naturally and the next thing we know we're just doing it, like a pro. Pretty cool.

So, when you're trying something for the first time and it's hard and you're getting frustrated remember, it Will Get Easier. Don't give up. And when it does get easy, recall back to when it was hard. Remember how it felt then and compare that to how you feel now. That should be a pretty good pick-me-up, right?

On the Other Hand of the Day:

Some things are just gonna stay hard.

For instance, I'm never going to become a good guitar player. My hands are too small, my fingers too short. It's uncomfortable for me to play. As a result, I don't practice. That's okay, though. I'll just move on to something more suited to my nature and skills. Like making art out of bottle caps!

Creating A World

I was reading an article about the late John Hughes from the March edition of Vanity Fair at the gym this morning and, in addition to being overcome with nostalgia for the man who created so many movies that shaped my adolescence, I was struck by how truly creative he was.

In the course of writing his many well-known screen plays, John Hughes created this amazingly relatable fictional world, set in Shermer, Illinois, that was very thought out and complete. It made me see how important an ingredient that can be to the making of any kind of art.

As opposed to individual pieces (whether it be fine art, music, literature, dance) that stand alone, parts of a larger whole are ultimately so much more interesting and satisfying. Seeing how things come together and relate makes it clear that the artist has been very thoughtful and engrossed in this world that he or she has created.

Very inspiring, indeed. True to my Gemini nature, my tendency is to move about from one idea to the next letting my interests wander and my mind get distracted. But, actually, for a few years now I have been making a concentrated effort to be more cohesive in my work. After reading about the creative life of John Hughes, I think I may be on the right track.

Favorite John Hughes Movie Quote of the Day:

You mess with the bull, you get the horns.

Take that, Bender!

What Is Cheating?

Last week at work a few of us were viewing the website of a Bay Area artist who is making a 40-foot tall sculpture of a female figure in a dance pose for Burning Man this year. The body is beautifully and classically proportioned. And it was quite obvious that computer aided design is being used to make a larger version from a smaller model. To which someone responded, "That's Cheating!"

And, you know what? Not too long ago I would have agreed. But not anymore. See, it is my belief that the two key ingredients to making art is 1) having an idea and 2) making the idea a reality. However you manage to go from start to finish, whatever tools you decide to use, it's all a part of the process. Whether it's hand tools, power tools, electronics, other people: these are all just some of the resources in the Great Big Tool Box.

Now, I love being the one to get my hands dirty making my art. I enjoy every step of the process. But I don't fault artists, however, who require a team of assistants to do a lot of the labor for them. Sometimes it's the only way the art can get made. And it's great that I know how to carve stone by hand but it's really helpful when I pull out my 7-inch diamond blade to make short work of material removal.  It's just a different tool and technique.

The only thing I would consider cheating is if you take someone else's creation and call it your own. That's wrong. But whatever it takes to fulfill your own artistic vision: Do It! With whatever tools you've got. I think it's pretty amazing the things us humans can make when we put our minds to it.

Sure Sign That I Am Ready To Jump Feet First Into a New Art Project of the Day:

I spent two hours last night cleaning and reorganizing my studio making a nice, big area within which to make nice, big plant-like sculptures out of recycled materials. I'm Back, Baby!

Got An Idea? Write It Down!

Oftentimes, out of nowhere, an idea for a blog post will come to me and I will jot it down so I can remember later. This past Saturday I had one, an idea about something relevant and timely in regards to my art career that I thought would be good to write about today. I was on my bike trainer, however, and didn't want to hop off just to make a note to myself. Needless to say, I have forgotten the idea.

And this is my good lesson learned. Or relearned, actually, because I've learned this lesson before. If you've got a good idea, no matter where you are or what you are doing or who you are with, Write It Down.

I believe that it is conceited to think that we can remember everything. Sure it's all somewhere in that mysterious gray matter that makes up our brain but the retrieval of the information can be difficult, or even impossible, at times.

It's like servers at restaurants. I am not impressed when the waitstaff doesn't write down my order as I give it. In fact, it worries me because more often then not they will forget something or get it wrong. There is no need to be so confident. It's a busy night, you've got a lot going on. Go ahead, write my order down, exactly as I state it. I won't think less of you. Really.

Once, when I was much younger, I had what I thought at the time was a terrific idea for a mystery novel. But I never wrote my idea down and it's never come back to me. I may not have remembered the idea but I sure never forgot the experience of losing it. It's quite likely that my idea wasn't a very good one, I was probably about 13 or 14 years old at the time, but I'll never know for sure.

Is This For Real? of the Day:

PACMAN: THE MOVIE TRAILER from Therefore Productions on Vimeo.

I'm pretty sure this is a joke. Definitely not a good idea if it's not.

Just Venting

Okay, this is a touchy subject but I feel like writing about it anyway.

I saw a bumper sticker on a car that said, "I can handle any crisis, I have children." And it made me think to myself, not for the first time, "why do people who have kids act so put upon all of the time?"

Really, I get it. Raising children isn't easy. But you knew what you were getting yourself into, right? You thought about how it would forever change your life. How there would be pain and tears mixed with joy and laughter. How, ultimately, the challenges were worth it because of the rewards. You considered all of this and more, right?

So, then I don't understand why some parents feel the need to act all smug and tell me, "you don't have kids, you wouldn't understand." Why wouldn't I understand? I don't have children because I considered all of the above also. I don't live some carefree slacker irresponsible life just because I don't have children. And I certainly feel like I can handle myself in a crisis situation just as well as someone with kids. A whole variety of life experiences is what enables us to survive. Baring children isn't the only one.

And another thing that drives me nuts is why is it okay for people to boldly ask me, "why don't you have kids?". As though I am obligated to. For what? The sake of the human race? You know, I don't go up to people and ask them, "why do you have kids?" Though, really, sometimes I'd love to know. Especially when I see the way that some parents allow their children to behave in public.

Now don't get me wrong, I love kids. I think my friends' kids are the best. And I am all about the "it takes a village" concept. I help in any way that I can with that. I just have made a thoughtful decision to not raise children of my own.

So, yes, I understand. It's not easy being a parent. Well, neither is constantly having to explain why I am not. But you don't see me displaying a bumper sticker that goes on about it.

Yeesh!

Way Fun Off-Topic Video of the Day:



Another reminder to me that I Miss the Muppet Show.

Pep Talk

My new job has me surrounded by talented people who create. Art and craft is everywhere. And starting next week some BIG art is gonna be made right outside my office door.

This should be inspiring, right? Especially because I admire the creative people that make up this world that I inhabit. I, in fact, am a part of the force and energy that enables this work to happen.

So, how come I can't seem to find my own force and energy these days? Why haven't I been busy making art?

Urgh! Okay, I know why. I've misplaced my motivation. I'm tired after a long day at the office, I say. I need a balanced life. I have to have room for my family, my dog, my friends, my other interests.

Bullshit!

Find the time, Kitty. That's what this is all about. Time is Everywhere. It's Right Now! I've just got to make it happen. No excuses.

I've got ideas. I've got goals. I've got resources. I've got talent. How hard is it to put that all together and...Ta Da!...here's fabulous new art? By Me!

Alright, I'll admit it. I'm a bit intimidated by the art that is happening around me. It makes me feel small. And not just because the actual art itself is about 6 times as big as me. I just feel like a small fish in a big pond.

But that shouldn't matter. I just have to get down to it. Do My Thing. In My Pond. Because no one does My Thing as good as Me! I'm the only one doin' it so, as the cliche goes, Just Do It!

Okay, Pep Talk over. I gotta go to work (the office job, I mean). But don't worry Studio, I'm coming for you. Get ready.

Hooray for Unintentionally Being Funny of the Day:

Teabonics.