My Dog Is Not Smarter Than Your Honor Student

So, from now until I leave for Burning Man on August 14th the blog postings are going to be sporadic at best. I've got a lot going on right now and some things will inevitably go by the wayside, this blog being one of them. While I am at Burning Man there won't be any posts at all and I'll be straight-up honest and say that I doubt I will have the energy to do much of a recap of my experience there when I get back. I know myself - I don't download well. Anyway, I did want to take a moment this morning to write a rant. Here goes.

Yesterday I saw a car with a bumper sticker that read, "My Dog Is Smarter Than Your Honor Student". I've seen that one before. It's kind of funny in a snarky, "I'm childless and you're not" way. Honestly, I'm not really sure what it means. If it's a stab at parenting it seems pretty mean-spirited.

But here's the thing: I really doubt that person's dog is that smart. My dog Jasmine is very intelligent, for a dog. She understands my vocal commands and body language enough to communicate with me. She remembers things, like where the deer carcass on the trail is that she found three days ago. She's good with patterns and routine.

However, my dog is eleven and she cannot read or write. And forget about complicated math. The best she can do is "one dog treat plus two dog treats equals I want more dog treats". Finally, she defecates in public.

Now an eleven-year-old who is like what I just described above would be considered retarded (yes, I used that word - it sounded better then mentally challenged, okay?). So do not even try to convince me that your dog is smarter then anyone's honor student; it's just not possible.

I bet the bumper sticker person also considers themselves their dog's Mom or Dad which I have never understood. My pet is my pet not my child. News flash: We Are Not The Same Species!

The bottom line is, when you use your vehicle to try and show just how clever and smart and funny and better then others that you are you usually end up looking like a conceited Jack Ass. I suggest using a Blog instead!

Bad News of the Day:

The art park at 580 Hayes Street is no longer an art park. It's becoming a parking lot as we speak. And for this pleasure I get to pick up a damaged "Flower Spiral" because the new property owner was so determined to get rid of the art on the lot that they allowed the contractors to improperly moved my sculpture last week without my knowledge. What a joy for me! But at least I will be getting compensation for the damages. Still, not my preferred way of getting paid to make art.