Change Is Good

Okay, so who’s in charge of time around here? ‘Caused I’d like to talk to them about how fast it’s been moving. I mean, seriously, how did it get to be the end of March already? How is it that it’s already Spring? Not that I’m complaining about the Spring part. Winter, as short as it is here in the Bay Area, is still long enough for me. But, really, time is just flying by.

My dad used to say to me when I was a teenager, “It seems like just yesterday you were born.” I’d role my eyes. Whatever, Dad. But now that I am an adult, I totally get what he means. It seems like just yesterday I was, well, twenty years younger!

Anyway, it wouldn't be a big deal except that of course I am stressing out all of the time about my Bottle Cap Bar and how long it is taking me to make it. I feel like I need to work on it All Of The Time. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. It does keep me moving, keep me motivated, keep me working.

But then the rest of my life (yes I do have one and I do other things besides sort bottle caps, punch holes in bottle caps, screw bottle caps into discarded wooden furniture, etc.) seems to get in the way of my getting as much work done as I’d like. I have been working recently again at Artesa. Just temporarily. The money is helpful since I didn't receive a grant for my project this year. So, it’s a good thing. But it does keep me from working on the Bar.

I have been having A Lot of anxiety about the Bar lately. To the point that I actually decided yesterday to rethink the concept a bit. I was making way too much work for myself. And I am talking about difficult and painful work. Challenges are important but I am not sadistic.

I had actually been avoiding constructing the front wall of the Bar even though I had all of the bottle caps hole-punched, laid out and ready to go. Stringing the bottle caps onto wire and assembling the wall is so incredibly Hard, I cannot begin to explain it. So, I’d do just about anything else instead. Like build a bench, for instance. But there the bottle caps would be, in my garage, waiting for me. Eventually I had no choice.

Earlier this week I started on the hard part and just about had an emotional breakdown. I can barely do this work. It’s Too Hard. How am I going to do this one, smaller I might add, wall? And then do it again? Two More Times?! I had to regroup. So, I did and I came up with a design for the two side walls that is different but easier then the front and back wall. All in all, I think the effect of the walls together will be good.

I enjoy making art, ya know? Why torture myself? Well, any more then I already do. I have been having so much fun making the furniture that goes inside the structure and dreading making the actual structure itself. Not good.

So, the plan is to finish the wall that I am working on now and then move on. I have made some changes to the way I am putting it together that makes things a little bit easier on me. But still, it kind of sucks although it’s going to look incredibly cool. So it’s worth it for that.

Now I feel a lot less pressure regarding time. Some of the design changes I came up with will reduce the number of holes to punch in bottle caps so that’s a time savings right there! Anyway, it’s all good for now. Until the next round of Freaking Out!

Cool Non-Bottle Cap Related Activity of the Week:

My new volunteer gig.

One day a week, for four hours I am volunteering for a research project that is training dogs to detect certain types of cancer in breath samples. My job is to walk and hang out with the dogs when they are not being trained. Like that’s tough! Check out this cool video.