Progression Structure #7

Well, here it is...Progression Structure #7. Finished! That feels good. This is an image of it installed in my house, where it will live for now. I am definitely happy with it and will most certainly feature it in my show at the Sebastopol Center for the Arts in November.

I have been spending a few days at home, taking a break from the North Coast Life. Heading back up tomorrow morning. It's been nice, being back in the Bay Area. I've really enjoyed Mendocino but this is definitely my home.

I will be back to work on the next sculpture tomorrow, hopefully feeling refreshed and ready to roll. I have certainly been enjoying the nice spring/summer-like weather right now. Got some friends coming over for a BBQ so I must sign off now.

Until next time.

Middle of the Night Inspired Idea of the Day: Construct my latest sculpture Upside Down.

That way the welds will be on the underside and not show so much. Brilliant!

A Collector's Dream

I had a temporary set-back this afternoon in my ability to work. Things should be back on track tomorrow, I hope. Instead I did a couple of things, ate some food. Then I noticed that the sun was out. Not the rainy afternoon forecast that I had expected. So I decided to head up to Fort Bragg and check out Glass Beach.

Let me tell you, this place is totally cool. It was originally a dump, well into the 1960's. There was this idea that if you put the dump at the shore than the salt water and tide would purify and just carry away the garage. Apparently this was common in coastal towns. Well, in the last 30+ years, in a way, that's what the ocean has done.

When you walk onto the beach you think it's a pebbly shore. But if you look down you realize that the "pebbles" are actually bits of sea glass, pottery and other miscellany, all ground up and mixed within the rocks and shells. It's amazing. I could kick myself I didn't have my camera.

This is a really pretty beach and the light was just right this afternoon. Truly a great example of the beauty of the Mendocino Coast. But I tell you for once I wasn't enraptured with the ocean. I barely lifted my head at all as I wondered around. I just stared at the ground fascinated by all the little things I saw.

I explored for nearly an hour, cramming my pockets with "treasures". You would probably consider it junk but there was some pretty neat stuff. I could have stayed longer and will definitely go back with Eric and Jasmine for more exploring.

I happened to be there while the tide was out and that made the exploring all the more interesting. I walked along the rocky tide pools, marveling at all the bits of human artifact that were deeply embedded in the rocks. This place is an amazing combination of man and nature.

p.s. Nature won.

Neat-o Find of the Day: This bit of metal.



It's so simple and elegant. It's a little sculpture in itself. Only nature could have made art this good.

Every Little Bit Helps

Good news, my friends. I just recently found out that I will be receiving a $1,500 Career Grant from the Marin Arts Council. I have so far, this year, applied for three grants (with two more to complete by June). This is my second notification and my first acceptance. Woo Hoo! I am pleased. This money will come in handy in lots of ways.

It's also a nice feeling of validation. These simple accolades that I have received recently (first place in a juried show, this grant award) have helped me to see that I am getting somewhere with this artmaking business. Slow steps, but steps forward none-the-less. People, there is hope. It just needs to be accompanied by a lot of patience, perseverance, and hard work. Just keep taking it one day at a time.

Oh, listen to me sounding like some kind of expert. I am saying the above more for me than you. This is something I need to tell myself on a pretty regular basis.

Things have been going well for me lately. I have come to understand enough about how things work around here at the Mendocino Art Center and it's helping me to get into a good routine of work, outdoor activity and private time. I have started to get used to spending a lot of time on my own. Now that I have a generally structured way of spending my time it doesn't feel so lonely.

I have also been able to get to know some people in the community. Not like serious friendships, we don't talk on the phone or make plans to do things together. I don't even have a phone here, which makes it kind of hard to contact me. It's more like people I might have a conversation with at Patterson's or Moody's Coffee and then see again and talk to some more. That kind of thing. It's just nice being friendly and meeting all sorts of different folks. It would be pretty easy to be a recluse here.

I am looking forward to tomorrow. I will begin welding my second steel sculpture. I've got the materials all cut up and ready to go. I am estimating three weeks to completion. That will give me some time at the end of my residency to do some other work. I have five small wax sculptures that I'd like to cast into bronze. And I wouldn't mind learning how to forge and brushing-up on my oxy-acetylene welding. Take advantage of as much as I can while I am here.
I know I was really feeling out-of-place and disappointed at the beginning of my stay here. But this is turning out to be a good experience for me. And over-all I am glad I am here.

Artist Tip of the Day: Don't slack on your documentation.

I think that the number one thing I do right as an artist is that I make sure my slide portfolio is always up to date and organized and that I have plenty of copies on hand. It makes applying for an opportunity - be it a juried show, a financial grant, a residency, or gallery representation - so much easier.

Sometimes you learn about an opportunity very close to the application deadline. Having documentation, not just slides but a current resume and artist statement as well, at the ready lets you jump on these things at the last minute.

Sometimes You Have To Let The Thing Be The Thing

Results! Today I finished welding together my first sculpture created here at the Mendocino Art Center. It's called Progression Structure #7. I am really happy with how it turned out. The most exciting thing is its final form. It is infinitely more interesting than my original design.

This is a great example of what I feel always happens to my sculptures. In the end, the form is always going to pull, to gravitate towards its true nature, whether I like it or not. This form just kept leaning and leaning until the moment when the final layer was in place and then it tipped to the side completely. And now has settled to a place of complete comfort and harmony with itself.

I am pleased, to say the least. This is a big step for me. The final outcome was not perfectly as I expected it to be and I am accepting of that and even happier with the end result.

Here's a bunch of photos I took this afternoon of different angles. The cool thing about this piece is that you can view it in many ways. It's not completely finished because I still have to do the patina. But this is the final form, and that's the important part.

Quote of the Day: It is good to have an end to journey toward; but it is the journey that matters, in the end. - Ursula K. Le Guin.

Just Another Day at the Beach

Today is by far the nicest day, weather-wise, since I've been here. I am sitting on the beach, soaking up the rays while I write this. No, not on my laptop; by hand, of course. What do you take me for? I'm trying to Blend here.

There are lots of people on the beach today. The kids are out of school for Spring Break. That's part of it. I called it a half-day at "work" today so I could be out here right now. It's awesome.

Seriously, no way am I going to miss hanging outside with all of this clear skies and sunshine going on. Besides, my welds were really crappy this morning. I did a lot of grinding! So, it's just as well that I bailed early.

Actually, I am getting quite anxious to finish up this sculpture now that the steel for my next piece has arrived. This current sculpture has sure been a pain in the ass to weld. But it's been fun watching it come to life. It's been a good warm-up. I will definitely be finished with it by the end of this week.

It's so amazing how much of a bend the form has due to gravity. I am trying to get used to it, to love it. It's not easy given my nature to gravitate towards Precision.

Man, it's so warm right now. I could be comfortable in a bathing suit out here. Oh, Sorry.

I am really trying to get to the place in my artmaking where I can accept my creations for what they are, what they are meant to be. It's important, though, to find that fine line between acceptance of a lack of perfection and just plain old crappy craftsmanship.

I work very hard to do the very best work I can when I am making my art. I try to accept my limitations. I am a person, not a machine. I want my work to look like it is made by my hands.

Song of the Day: "Good Day Sunshine" by the Beatles.

Progress

I am finally making progress on my first sculpture. I have my work area all set up and it's working well for me. I have a lot of space and it's indoors so I am not affected by the weather. I do love working outside but it's not so good to be welding in the rain. I started welding the piece together on Wednesday and today it is now halfway complete. Here are a couple of images of my work in progress.

This is with ten levels completed. The final piece will be 32 levels total - about two feet high.

Here is the work at half complete, 16 levels tall.

I am noticing that the piece is tending to lean to the left. But that's alright. I've had plenty of time to get used to the fact that my art tends to go it's own way. As much as I always start out with Exactness and Precision in my mind, in the end it never ends up that way.

That's cool now that I have come to understand that nothing that is perfect can be truly alive (see previous post). So, I am feeling good and getting into a nice work groove. Actually, I'm pretty beat right now - it was a full week. That's always a nice feeling.

I am looking forward to a couple of days off. Eric and Jasmine come up tomorrow for the weekend. It'll be cool to hang out with them. Hopefully it won't rain too much and we can do some outdoor exploring. Sometimes we get a small bit of really nice weather here. And I try to take advantage of that when I can. Here are a couple of pictures I took yesterday, early evening, at the Mendocino Headlands State Park.

This spot is just a quick five minute walk from the Art Center. Moments like that and I really feel lucky to be here.

It's kind of tough, keeping to myself. But I am slowly starting to get used to it. It's just so jarring knowing that there are other artists around me, but I almost never see them. I guess I am just used to my experiences at Franconia and Marble. There, you work hard during the day and then socialize at night. That is just what I am used to. But then, no one here is doing the kind of art I am. Maybe it's just a sculpture thing.

I think it's really important for artists to spend time together, outside of the studio. It's too easy to get wrapped up in your own little art-making world. It's nice to be able to hang out with other people who can relate to how you just spent your day. You can talk about art, or not. That doesn't matter so much. It's just a good feeling to come out of the enclosure of the studio and relate to people again.

This place is definitely different. And that's Okay. I'm just going to make the most of my time here and try to be as productive as possible. The cool thing is that, so far, I am happy with the work I am doing. Can you believe that? I think part of that is because these sculptures have been in the works for quite some time; I made the models almost a year and a half ago.

Now it's just a matter of following my plans and seeing it through to the end result. That's pretty exciting. The steel for my next sculpture will be delivered on Monday. So, I've got that to start working on next week. Plenty to do.

Small Community Observation of the Day: I am sitting in a pub called Patterson's as I write this. By hand, not on my laptop. That would be so tacky! Anyway, I still can't seem to get over how everyone seems to know everyone here. I realize that is not unusual in a town like this - it's just something I'm not used to. Makes me feel a little out of place. But I venture out because it's better than just hanging out in my room by myself all the time.

A Perfect World?

I am currently reading a book called The Phenomenon of Life. It is the first in a series of four books called The Nature of Order by Christopher Alexander. He was an architecture professor at Cal Berkeley. These books are a series of essays exploring "the properties of life itself, highlighting a set of well-defined structures present in all order - and in all life - from micro-organisms and mountain ranges to good houses and vibrant communities. Taken as a whole the four books create a sweeping new conception of the nature of things which is both objective and structural (hence part of science) - and also personal (in that is shows how and why things have the power to touch the human heart)". Anyway, so says the dust jacket. I am just getting into it and trying to understand the theories.

I was reading last night and one thing the author said really struck me. He was talking about the Japanese concept of "wabi-to-sabi", which roughly translates as "rusty beauty". Alexander writes, " Life itself is damaged, and nothing which is perfect can be truly alive." That really made me think. Because one aspect of my self is that I am constantly striving for perfection. In my art, in my life, in my person, everything. It is my comfort zone. It is where I feel there is Control and Order. If nothing goes wrong than everything must be right.

But if what he says is true, that nothing perfect is alive, maybe I am missing something that could be interesting. For instance, in my art I am very critical of minor imperfections. Whether it is small bruises or an imperfect finish in a marble carving. Or if the toothpicks aren't lined up exactly in some of my mixed-media wall art. These little details make me crazy. This drive seems to be what makes my art look, as someone once said, "so precise". When I heard that my first feeling was pride. But when I think back on it now, maybe it wasn't a compliment.

Perhaps it's the little imperfections that give my art life. And I should accept it, embrace it, understand that it is just a part of the Living Structure that I have created. The last thing I want is for my art to feel static and un-alive. My whole concept is about bringing to life shapes and forms from the Underlying System. Perhaps the Underlying System is not as perfect as I desire it to be. My quest for Order makes me desire the idea that there is something absolutely Perfect beneath the surface. But is it alive if it is so perfect? Perhaps my quest for Order isn't finding the Perfection in the Underlying System but trying to feel comfortable existing within the Chaos.

Rain Trivia of the Day: Did you know that this year broke the record of number of rainy days in San Francisco in the month of March? And it looks like we're gonna break the record for April, too. Woo hoo. We're Number One. Oh, in case you couldn't tell: I was being sarcastic. I know, I'm such a baby.

Two Months of Solitude

Being alone and feeling alone - interesting experiences. For the first time in my life I am feeling very alone. Though there are plenty of people here at the Art Center, it doesn't seem like it. I have a roommate, but the way that the apartment is set up we are pretty separated. For all intents and purposes I am living by myself. And I have never done that before. I am having new sensations here and they are not all pleasant.

I never realized until now that I have never truly spent time on my own, by myself. I want to grow from this experience, really feel what it is like to be totally independent. But right now it's hard. Choosing to be an artist, you have to face the reality that you will spend a lot of time alone, working in the studio. But I've never really done that much. There's been school, and then I worked at Franconia (where you were never alone) and even at my studio at home there is usually one other person working as well. Even in my artmaking I have never been totally alone.

Yes, it's not like I am the only one working in the sculpture studio. Other folks are in and out. I am not living like a monk on a hilltop where I don't speak to another human for days on end. But there is something about this place that just feels very isolating to me. I don't know how to explain it.

I am really trying my best to make the most of this situation. Because I think a lot of good can come of it. First of all, without much else to do around here I should be able to devote a lot of time to working on my art. The studio is very conveniently located, the building next to my apartment. And I don't have any other responsibilities to keep me from being there as much as possible. Also, with free time just to myself I can do things that I always say I wish I had more time for. Like reading. I just started this book called the Nature of Order. I am reading the first book in a series of four. It's kind of ambitious - complex theories about architecture, order, and the universe - and it's pretty long at 470 pages. But I have to read it in the next three weeks because it's due back at the library and I can't renew it because there is a hold on the book.

I should be grateful that I have the time to devote to reading this book. And then there is all the hiking and biking I can do (when it's not raining). And when it is raining I can always practice my guitar. So, these are all good things. This is a great opportunity for me to accomplish a lot. Then why do I feel so uncomfortable here? Why does being on my own make me squeamish? Must just be that I need to give myself time to get used to this new situation, this new experience. I have not even been here a full week. I know I just need to give myself more time. But then I am a pretty impatient person, so that can be quite a challenge. Ah, challenges, it's what makes us grow, right?

Challenge of the Day: Enjoy your own company.

Ready for Work

Two days here and I have yet to start doing any work. I realize I have lots of time to make my art but I’m still anxious. Mostly because I don’t know what to do with myself. New surroundings and all. I totally took advantage of a rare sunny day on Wednesday and spent quite a bit of time at the beach and exploring the area. I’m glad I had the opportunity to do that while I had the time. But there is only so much of that before I feel the need to do other things. I’m feeling a bit too isolated here and I need my work to focus on. Something that I can give my total attention to.

Eric and Jasmine are driving up tomorrow to spend the weekend with me and I cannot wait. Mostly because I am missing their company. I am slowly meeting the artists here, but since there is no real common area to hang out in then it’s hard to spend much time getting to know anyone. I’m sure I’ll get to know people better the longer I am here. I have also already met a few local folks. So, that’s cool. But it’s not like I know anyone here. I guess I’m just a little lonely.

I am hoping that by Monday, at the latest, I am down in the sculpture studio working. I’ve got materials and ideas and I am ready to go. I just don’t know where the equipment and stuff is or where to keep my tools and materials. I guess I’m just feeling a little out of my element. Once I am in a groove then things will go a lot better, I am sure.

Here’s to working on not letting this unexpected Down Time get me Down.

Weather forecast of the day: Rain - all weekend long. Woo!

I Am Here

I have made it to the Mendocino Art Center and am ready to start my Residency. Honestly, that was no small feat. As you know, the Strep Throat hit me Hard. But I am doing a million times better thanks to time, sleep, and good ole’ Penicillin. Does the trick when you need it to, that is for sure.

We made it up here in good time – two and a half hours. And that was in constant rain. But traffic was light, so that helped. It’s so pretty here, even in the rain. I just love the coast, I love the water. I plan to go to the shore every day – if I can. The rain can be quite a deterrent. Eric and Jasmine and I were lucky this afternoon, we got in some good walking (around town and at the Headlands State Park) during breaks in the rain. But then later it didn’t go so well for me.

Eric left around 4:30pm and I unpacked and organized my room. I got everything in its place, which makes me feel comfortable. But then it wasn’t even dark yet so I thought: I am not going to just sit here in my room while there is light out and I can walk to see the ocean. I got across the street from the Art Center and then it just torrentially down poured. I was forced back. Bummer.

The first night was hard because no one seemed to be around and I was totally alone in this new situation. There doesn’t seem to be any kind of common area for artists to hang out here so I am not sure how much socializing goes on or if everyone just kind of does their own thing. I have a roommate but really it’s just this girl with whom I share a small bathroom and kitchen. Otherwise we have our own spaces. There are other apartments, mostly singles. I hope people don’t just retreat into their holes at night. I would definitely like to get to know the other artists here.

When I am completely better, I plan to walk to places at night in town where there are other people. No way am I going to just sit in my room all night long. Sure, I will definitely spend time alone: catching up on my reading, practicing my guitar, writing in my blog. But I am not going to be some isolated artist in an isolated community. I would go crazy if I did that.

But at least, for right now, this alone time is forcing me to take it easy so I can get better. I am not completely out of the woods but I am almost there.

Can’t wait to get started on my Art. Hopefully, that will be soon.

Movie Quote of the Day:

“I’m here to chew bubblegum and kick ass. And I’m all out of bubblegum”

-- John Carpenter’s They Live

What the Hell Am I Still Doing Here?

I should be sending you "Greetings from Mendocino". But, alas, I am sitting here in my living room, snug under a blanket, at home while I type this. Nope, didn't go up yesterday as was the plan. See, my health had other ideas.

Actually, trouble started a week ago, last Saturday. I slipped and took a fall. Hit my elbow pretty hard. Not so bad that I needed a doctor, thankfully, but it was a doozy. Got a righteous bruise and bump - "souvenirs" from the "trip". (There's like this crazy dent where the bump was surrounded by a wide ring of yellowish bruise now. Looks Awesome!) The first few days it was really painful and difficult to move my arm. It's the right one and of course I am right handed. I knew this was going to affect my ability to finish moving out of my studio last week but fortunately I had hubby Eric to help and had already made some good headway the week before. So, I knew it was going to be okay.

But all that was meaningless starting Monday afternoon when I developed a sore throat and fever. That was bumming me out but I figured I'd hit it hard with the usual: Eccanacia, Vitamin C, herbal tea, etc. Couple days down and I'd be back on track, right? Wrong! By day four of 101+ degree temperature I realized that I needed to see the doctor and get some meds.

Turns out I had Strep Throat. Now I am on antibiotics (not my fave, but some things are just unavoidable) and doing much better. Needless to say I had to call the Art Center and tell them I wouldn't be arriving on April 1 as planned. My new plan now is to head up Tuesday morning. Better late than never.

I was at least able, thanks in a big way to Eric, to move out of my studio before my sublet tenant was supposed to move in. So, that's all taken care of. Now, I just need to get my stuff together and pack up my truck. And I've got all day tomorrow for that. All in all I'm in okay shape. But It Was Not Fun. Let me be clear on that. There is only so much sweaty feverish sleep, nose blowing, laying in bed, and movie watching that a person can take before you start to go Insane.

She's Alive!

I'm doing well enough today for some time Out Of The House! Now that I am still at home I will be able to attend an Art Opening today for a juried show I am in. This is a good thing, actually, since one of my sculptures in the show, Blooming, won First Place.

Actually, it's kind of an unexpected thing, this whole show. The Marin Society of Artists puts on a juried Craft and Sculpture show every year. I decided to enter this year, last minute, mostly because I was hoping that they would select two of the pieces I did at Marble Camp last summer so I would have a place to store them while I was gone. Well, they accepted both pieces (the other was Down By the Seaside) and gave me the Top Award. Go Figure.

I was really taken by surprise mostly because I don't consider Blooming to be one of my better works. There's a bit of history with that piece, as well as the other. First of all they are related in that they both came from the same block of marble.

See, last summer I went to Marble for two carving sessions - I usually just go for one. The first session I was in some kind of amazing place of carving. The piece I did, Torso, came so quickly and easily that I can't even recall actually making it. Nothing like that in my art has ever happened to me before (or since). There are usually, as I've mentioned before, periods of challenges and frustrations mixed in with the successful moments. Not this time. I never had one bad day. That's just not natural.

Given that the Universe needs Balance, my challenges and frustrations appeared in triplicate during the next carving session. I had picked a very specific block of marble purely for it's beauty - it really was a fine piece. But I had no idea what I was going to carve. Usually I use a maquette, or model, before I begin sculpting. This time I decided to go at it blind. Just carve at will until I liked the form I created. Do something a little different.

Day one, I break a chisel. Not a fine moment. That was the beginning of the descent. Next came a few days of cutting, carving and grinding that was directionless, difficult, and aggravating. Gone was the zen-like carving I had experienced just one week prior. Now I just seemed to be constantly working against the rock. Every cut I made just made the form worse. It was so bad that I could only work for about 20 minutes at a time before I'd get nauseous and would have to leave my work area because I couldn't stand to look at the monstrosity before me. I dubbed it "Craptacular" and no matter what I did the sculpture lived up to it's name. It was a disaster.

Then, the founder of the Symposium, Madeline Wiener (a wonderful individual, I might add) gave me some advice: Cut it in half and start on two new pieces. Drastic, yes. But what did I have to lose? If I had kept up what I was doing, eventually I would have ended up with a lot of marble chips, a dulled diamond blade, and no sculpture. It was a painful moment, cutting "Craptacular" up, but it had to be done.

Thus, I started anew. And the result was, eventually, Blooming and Down By the Seaside. And I am happy with both pieces but I think that I am so affected by the difficult place from which they originated that it taints my relationship with the works. Especially, for some reason, Blooming. So, I am sure you can imagine the surprise and satisfaction I felt when I got the call last week about the award. Honestly, when it comes to my art, it never turns out like I expect.

Promise of the Day: My next post will be from the North Coast.

Mendocino or Bust!

P.S. Just got back from the MSA Opening. They presented me with a Cash Award. Sweet!